


Guide My Shaking Hands

by HoneyButterYum



Series: Under Repair [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Connor gives Nines advice on how to take care of distressed detectives, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, I somehow scientifically explain why Nines has a voice kink, Nines doesn't know what it means to be deviant, Nines is a giggly bitch and you can't convince me otherwise, Nines talks too much about Gavin's voice, Protective Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Protective Upgraded Connor | RK900, RK900's name is Nines, Sibling Bonding, Voice Kink, also known as: two siblings say 'fuck' to each other until they're both dying of laughter, feelings are hard, it's why Nines is so good at it, maybe he's not as much in this fic but still, well guess you haven't met me, you thought this wouldn't be tagged voice kink didn't you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-15 01:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16923666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyButterYum/pseuds/HoneyButterYum
Summary: In the days after Gavin wakes from his coma, Nines had felt more than he ever had before. But he feels…adrift, trying to grasp onto the remnants of his old programming to comprehend his emotions, when really, he should’ve asked for help a lot sooner.(Side story between chapters 3 and 4 in What Once Was Broken is Now Gold)





	Guide My Shaking Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ashietoashes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashietoashes/gifts).



> First off, Merry Christmas and happy birthday, Ash!!!! I hope you enjoy this surprise gift I wrote for you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) We haven't known each other for too long, but at this point I couldn't imagine not having you as my friend. Thank you for all your support and, especially, giving me tons of adorable and/or agonizing ideas that literally keep me up at night! You're a menace lmfao. I hope this meets all your expectations! 
> 
> uwu and I hope everyone enjoys this! With all that's going down with Gavin in What Once Was Broken is Now Gold, it's nice to see Nines' side of things! Thanks for reading!

During the entire ride to Connor and Hank’s house, Nines’ LED cycled a steady yellow. His processors analyzed and reanalyzed intricate bits of data over and over, both within his own program and from new stimuli from outside.

He didn’t realize his cab had stopped until Connor knocked on his window.

Nines stepped out of the cab and brushed down his jacket, taking a deep breath to cool his heated biocomponents. “I wished to speak in person,” he started, gaze trained on Connor’s shoulder, snowflakes collecting on the fabric of his sweatshirt. “I do not…. I wanted your advice.”

Connor nodded along, brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?” He lifted his hand to Nines’ arm and led him into Hank’s house. “Gavin?” he asked, soft now that they were inside. Of course it was about Gavin.

Nines nodded, LED dipping into red, only for a moment. Before he could speak, Connor’s expression twisted into discontent.

“What did he do to you?” Even through the blanket of night, Connor’s voice took on a hardened strength, aggression hand in hand with worry. Connor scanned down Nines’ body. “Did he hurt you?”

“He can barely walk,” Nines said, incredulous. “It is far easier for him to slip and fall to his death than it is for him to damage any number of my biocomponents.” His thirium pump beat hard within his chassis, an emotion along with it: anxiety if such an event became a reality.

Nines stopped and took another deep breath. “That is not why I’m here.” He glanced around the house, the action of scanning the area a nice distraction from his task at hand. “Can we sit?”

Connor nodded. “Yes, of course.” He frowned and lowered his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I understand.” Nines rested his hand on Connor’s shoulder and gave his predecessor a smile he’d found easier and easier to make after spending so much time with Gavin. “Our memories of him are different. I won’t excuse the things he’s done to you, but he’s far too weak for me to…to feel anything other than….”

Connor took Nines’ hand and smiled himself. “Talk to me.” He brought Nines to the couch and they settled, Connor leaning back against the couch's arm, Nines stiff. “What has you so…confused?”

Nines let Connor’s question wash over him, his processors trying to think up a proper response. “I was not meant to feel emotion the same way you do,” he began, cautious, slow. “So my understanding of what I feel and why is limited. With Gavin, I….” Nines frowned.

“You care for him?” Connor cocked his head, gaze soft, open. At Nines nod, he continued, albeit hesitant, “I don’t understand. What has he done for you?”

Nines sighed and held out his arm. “Do not question how I feel when I am doing my best to understand it myself.”

Connor bit his lip and pulled his knees to his chest with a nod. He reached out and grasped Nines’ forearm, his skin peeling away to reveal the white plastic beneath.

A surge of information left Nines, first and foremost being Gavin’s physical and emotional state, not Nines’ own. Gavin pushed himself too hard, Nines knew that, but they both wanted to see him healthy and strong again, even if Nines had never seen him out of a hospital bed before these last few days. Despite knowing that, Nines helped Gavin walk whenever he could, and it set the pressure plates in his fingers on fire whenever they’d touch Gavin.

Nines didn’t understand his want to be close to Gavin, his desire to see Gavin healthy after seeing him sunken and pale, lying in comatose for weeks on end. He had no reason to feel an attachment to the detective, not after he’d seen Connor’s memories of him. Of course, as predestined partners, Nines supposed he’d end up caring for the detective anyway, and speeding those feelings along didn’t hurt.

Yet Gavin looked so…vulnerable in his current state, so broken, and Nines found that his response to that was something like agitation. Gavin wasn’t meant to look so…destroyed, just as Nines wasn’t meant to feel emotion other than the faux deviancy CyberLife had planned for him.

CyberLife had been wrong, so maybe Gavin's view of his current self was wrong, too.

He didn’t notice the pulsing red of his LED until Connor pulled away, concern etched deep in his expression. “Why do you question your feelings?”

“Because I don’t understand where they originated,” Nines whispered, a slight static to his words. He lifted his hand to cough into his fist, and only then did he feel the wetness on his cheeks. “Oh.”

Connor opened his arms with a pained smile. Nines wiped the tears from his eyes and leaned into Connor, his predecessor squeezing his arms around Nines’ shoulders. “You’re hopeless,” he murmured, and Nines heard the joking smile in his tone from where his face rested on Connor’s chest. “My little brother, crying over a boy….”

“Shut up,” Nines choked out, nothing other than embarrassment stalling his voice box.

Connor laughed, his hand drawing soothing circles through Nines’ hair. “I understand how stressful that would be…. Thank you for coming to talk to me about it.” He took a deep breath. “I would wait for Gavin to gain his strength back before you talk about what you feel with him. He’s stressed enough, as I’m sure you know.”

Nines nodded, slow. “What about me?” Quieter than a whisper, Nines let out a shuddering breath against Connor’s chest. “Why do I feel this way? Why does it confuse me?”

“That’s for you to find out.” Connor flicked Nines’ forehead with a gentle chuckle. “I don’t have all the answers to who you are, Nines. You…you are your own person. All I can say is that….” He paused, LED hinting a speck of yellow. “You admire Detective Reed a great deal.”

Nines nodded. “His strength is more than his physical form.”

Connor hummed and drew his fingers back through Nines’ hair. “Go on.”

“His determination is admirable,” Nines said, the tenseness in his form relaxing under Connor’s touch. “He’s taken his situation and forced himself to not give in. I am uncertain what he would do if I were not there to help him, but—“ Nines’ LED flashed red. “—I’d like to believe that I am helping him, both physically and emotionally.”

Nines let silence blanket them for a moment, and then added, “He’s…cute.” At Connor’s laugh, Nines jabbed his fingers into Connor’s side.

“Ow! Aha, I’m sorry, continue.” Connor stifled another laugh. “I didn’t expect you to say that.”

“Neither did I.” Nines frowned, and let a strange, warm feeling settle throughout his body. “I like to study his face in the short moments when he looks at me. He isn’t able to meet my gaze often.” At that, one corner of Nines’ lips drew upward. “Even that is cute, his embarrassment obvious. I find myself teasing him more often than I should.” Nines let out a wistful sigh. “I enjoy talking to him. Even if it’s nothing substantial, I find his voice….” He paused as an error message popped up in his peripheral: thirium had rushed to his face far faster than normal, and in larger amounts than needed.

Connor laughed once more. “Our model is well-attuned to voices,” he said with a pat to Nines’ head. “It isn’t odd that you’d prefer one over another.”

Another error popped up in Nines’ vision as more thirium heated his face. “Yes, of course.” He pulled one of his hands to his chest and pressed his palm flat over his thirium pump, beating fast. “Why him?”

“I assume it’s your close proximity,” Connor said, tipping his head back against the armrest of the couch. “The more you listen to a voice, the easier it is to mimic. And, the more time you spend with another person, the easier it is to become friends, or even more.”

Nines lifted his head to look at Connor. “It confuses me,” he whispered, distraught, almost, face still a dark shade of blue. “He looks at me with such sadness and pleads to me, and I feel this…need to take all his pain upon myself.”

Through Connor’s laugh, Nines averted his gaze to the floor. Once Connor quieted, he tilted his head and tapped Nines’ LED, yellow with hints of red. “Why are you confused about that?”

“I don’t know what to call it, I suppose.” Nines frowned and let out a sigh. “I am…afraid of what Gavin would say, considering his opinions on androids in the past. I am certain he is only tolerating me because he is unable to care for himself.”

Connor nodded. “I understand.” He glanced over to a hallway where Nines knew Lieutenant Anderson’s bedroom was. “The Lieutenant disliked androids due to their lack of empathy,” he murmured, “and I assume Detective Reed fears androids will cause him to become useless in his career path. Am I wrong?”

Nines shook his head. “What are you saying?”

“Ease his worries. One of these days, when he’s stronger, maybe take him to the station.” Connor straightened out Nines’ hair, tousled from Connor’s petting. “Of course not to work, but to show him that they’re waiting for him to come back.”

“That’s….” Nines nodded. “I’ll do that.”

Connor smiled. “Good.” He sat up, Nines moving with him. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes,” Nines said through a relieved sigh. “Thank you, Connor.”

“It wasn’t a prob—oh!” Connor laughed as Sumo came running up to them, Connor leaning into the dog’s kisses, Nines pulling back. “Hello, Sumo! What are you doing up?”

“I could say the same to you,” Hank said from the hallway, his hair sticking up at odd ends and his eyes half closed. “The fuck are you doing, up so late?”

Connor tried to stifle another laugh as he made Sumo sit and stood from the couch. “Nines needed some advice. I hope you don’t mind.”

Hank rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Who the fuck…?”

“RK900,” Connor explained, walking over to Hank and putting his hand on Hank’s cheek. “He registered it a few days ago.” Connor spun Hank around and nudged him back down the hall. “Go back to sleep, I’m sorry for waking you.”

Hank waved his hand, muttering a, “Christ, three in the fuckin’ morning….” as he lumbered down the hall and back into his room.

Connor’s smile, broad and bursting with affection, took up his entire expression as he turned back to Nines. “Now, is there anything else you’d like to tell me?”

Nines lowered his gaze and shook his head, standing and taking cautious steps around Sumo. “I’ll be fine. I shouldn’t have come at such an inopportune time.”

“It’s fine, Nines. I’ll help you whenever you need it.” Connor’s smile dimmed, though happiness still buzzed in his expression. He came up to Sumo and knelt next to the dog, his hands rubbing circles around his floppy ears. “I know how difficult things can get. Don’t be afraid to talk to me, even if it’s not the best time for our humans.”

Our humans. Nines’ face flushed blue yet again and he resisted the urge to fidget with his fingers. “I worry too much for him, don’t I?”

Connor looked up at Nines with a gentle smile. “I believe you worry just enough,” he said.

“I…enjoy his company too much, don’t I?”

Connor stood and took Nines’ hands in his. “I believe you enjoy his company just enough.”

Nines gulped, a useless, human action. “I want to hear him say my name too much…don’t I?”

“Hm.” Connor cocked his head, mischief dancing in the backs of his eyes. His LED flashed yellow before it settled back on blue and, in Gavin’s voice, said, “That’s up to you, Nines.”

Nines shoved Connor away, his face a heated cerulean, error messages popping up left and right in his HUD. “You—” Nines grit his teeth, though his anger faded at Connor’s muffled laughter. “I hate you,” he muttered, words lacking any bite.

“Love you too.” Connor snickered and patted Nines’ shoulder. “Have fun with it, Nines. You’ve been stressed about the detective for so long, it’s okay to relax. I’ll always be here if you need someone to talk to.”

With a nod, Nines gave Connor a shy smile. “I know.” He leaned forward and, in Hank’s voice, deep and slurred with sleep, whispered in Connor’s ear, “You’re too kind, Connor.”

“ _Wow._ ” Connor grinned, wild as he gripped the front of Nines’ collar and pushed him back. With a mocking cough to clear his throat, he said in a mimicry of Gavin’s voice, “You’re a fucking disgrace, Nines.”

Nines couldn’t hold back a laugh of his own, soft and weak as it was. “He does say ‘fuck’ like that, doesn’t he?”

“What? ‘Fuck’?” Connor continued in Gavin’s voice, grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh my God, shut up.”

Connor snorted. “Fuck.”

Nines grappled for Connor’s face, trying to get him to shut the fuck up, but Connor fought back and they toppled onto the couch, Sumo jumping up as well to leap into the fray. “You won’t win,” Nines said with a grunt as Connor kicked his side and shoved his hands away. “I was created to be better than you.”

Sumo barked and rammed against Nines’ back when he pinned Connor to the couch, knocking him off-balance and letting Connor kick him to the other side of the couch. Sumo let out a small woof and jumped down from the couch, nosing at Connor’s palm. “C’mon Nines, you can do better than that,” Connor drawled, the words far too enticing in Gavin’s voice. Nines choked—didn’t even know he could—and covered his burning blue face with his hands.

“Seriously,” he said, trying to find the composure he found so easy to keep in any other situation. “I hate you.”

“It’s nice seeing you like this,” Connor replied, thank rA9 in his own voice. Nines wasn’t sure he could handle those words in a mockery of Gavin’s. “I’m glad the detective has at least helped you express your emotions in this way.”

Nines sighed and narrowed his eyes, willing his thirium pump to even out. “I want a divorce.”

Connor burst into laughter, tears in his eyes. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.” He fiddled with the strings of his sweatshirt, about to add onto that, but Hank’s voice cut through the house.

“Connor,”  he cried, “why the fuck are you so loud at three in the fuckin’ morning?”

Connor only burst into giggles, trying to stifle them with his hands. “I’m coming, Hank!” He turned back to Nines, words soft. “I don’t mean to cut this short, but….”

“No, I should be going myself. Gavin will wake soon, and I don’t know what he’d do if I wasn’t….” Nines trailed off, but Connor gave an understanding nod. They stood, and Nines glanced at Sumo, giving him an awkward pat before heading to the door, Connor at his heel.

“Thank you for all this,” Nines said, unable to look Connor in the eye. “I think I…really needed it.”

Connor nodded and patted Nines’ shoulder. “You’re always welcome here, Nines. You know that?”

“Yes.” Nines smiled and wrapped his arms around Connor’s shoulders, pulling him close and letting out a heavy sigh against his shoulder. “Thank you.” He pulled away and opened the door, then turned back to Connor. “I’ll try to visit more often.”

Connor let out a chuckle. “Please.” As he pushed Nines through the door, he said, “Now get back to your detective; Hank’s going to kill me.”

“He’d better not,” Nines muttered, and Connor snickered and gave a playful punch to his shoulder.

“Be sure to say the same to Detective Reed.” Connor leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. “It was nice seeing you, Nines.”

With a sigh, Nines nodded and waved to Connor. “You too. Goodnight.”

As he turned and walked through the snowy night to the cab waiting for him, only then did Nines realize what Connor had said.

 _His_ detective. Nines had to smile. It had a nice ring to it.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at the beginning of the month and lemme tell you I’ve read it over like 15 times because I love this so muchhhhh


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